I’ll be back in about an hour. If anyone calls, tell them I went to lunch across the street.’ I said, pulling on my jacket. ‘Okay sweetie.’ She replied, placing the files down on her desk. As I entered the bar, I immediately spotted my two buddies Dave and Ken. They were huddled around our usual table in what seemed to be heated discussion. We ate here almost everyday. It was kind of a tradition. ‘Hey guys, what’s up?’ I said, taking a seat next to Ken. ‘What’s ‘up’, is that you’re late.’ Dave said, pointing to his watch. Ken laughed. ‘I know, I know. How ‘bout I pay today eh?’ I said, smiling, knowing that Dave, the king of cheap, couldn’t resist a free meal. ‘Alright! That’s my boy!’ Dave said, chuckling. ‘You guys order yet?’ I asked, grabbing a menu. ‘Yeah, don’t worry about it, we got you covered.’ Ken said, taking a sip of beer. ‘Alright, cool.’ I looked around. It was pretty empty, except for the couple of guys at the bar. The smell of smoke filled my nostrils, lingering. She was just wandering around, like she was lost or something, so I took her back to the Union and bought her a Coke." Jesus, Westy, you actually went on a date with her."He turned a little pale when he heard that. "Don't even say that, Porter, Christ! You're gonna make me lose my lunch!" Hey, you're the one who bought her the Coke," I reminded him."Well, yeah, but she repaid me. Big time. I took her into one of the men's johns, and she gave me a blowjob in a stall." No shit?" Now it was me who felt like losing his lunch. "That's as disgusting a thing as I think I've ever heard."Westy laughed. "Stick around, my naive friend. I can get way more disgusting than that."I grimaced. "Ugh. Maybe I don't want to know about it," I said."Hey, Maureen's pretty good with that mouth. You just need to make sure she keeps her clothes on, and maybe you want to carry around a paper bag to slap over her head. One with a cutout for her lips. That way you can imagine it's that Melanie bitch from the Phi.
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