“Please. Let’s not make this harder than it already is. I’m just not ready to be in a relationship right now. You have your priorities, and right now so do I.”I watched him eat his chicken, closing his eyes at the taste, and realized what a total dickhead he was.“You’re fucking someone else, aren’t you?”Guess what? He did choke on his chicken.“No—you’re kidding!” My best friend Anna was frozen with a piece of salad halfway up to her mouth.“Unfortunately, I’m not. He broke up with me New Year’s Eve at dinner.”“Why the hell didn’t you call me?” Finally she moved again which made me feel better; Anna at rest is an alarming thing to behold. “You could have come to my place. Andy and I watched Ryan Seacrest and Fergie be freakish robots all night.”My soup burned my tongue and I cursed, asking the universe why everything bad happened to me.“I didn’t want to intrude. It was your first New Year’s as a married couple!”She rolled her eyes. “It was totally boring. Andrew drank beer all night and. ? Oh no, he wanted me to make like I?m an old hand at this. ?Got to keepup appearances for the sake of the business,? he says. So I sortof had to work it out for myself. Had to find out how to keep them in order.How to make sure they behave. How to make sure they don?t go wandering off andhow to make sure they keep fit enough to go on doing whatever it is you wantthem to do. There aren?t any books ? well none that are any use. There?s plentyof fantasy out there about how to treat your slaves but none of it seemed torelate to the problems of having them around twenty four hours a day, totallyreliant on you. Besides most of it seemed to involve me spending more time onmanaging the slaves than I ever wanted to. My take on this was that a slave?sthere for my convenience and if they?re more trouble than benefit, what?s thepoint? Well, ittook a bit of work and I guess I left a few bruises on some of the girls but,hey, that?s what they?re there for, like the boyfriend tells me. I guess.
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