Finally, I wanted to break the silence, so I apologized for the depressing tone of our conversations that evening, and for her sadness. “It’s just really hard for me right now, waiting for the next thing to happen,” was her response as she stared out the passenger-side window.I continued to feel a compulsion to connect with her, to make her feel better about herself, but I didn’t know what was safe or appropriate. I decided to take a small chance, and I reached for her left hand with my right. To ensure that she was seeing this as a friendly gesture, I quietly said “You know we’re always here for you, Maggie.” She accepted my touch, and I let our hands rest together on her left thigh. “I know, and I love you guys,” she said, giving my hand a little squeeze in return. I was very pleased, as this was honestly the most intimate moment we’d ever shared and guiltily, though I really was just trying to help her out as a friend, the realization that we were making a real connection. Oh, my God, is Mark thinking about seeing me like this, looking at me like this? I wanted to hurry up and get dressed, I was so embarrassed, but I forced myself to keep looking. Oh, my God, oh, my God, this is scary. I don’t guess that my figure is too bad, a little flat chested maybe, but Rachel was right: I was so happy with Mark last night that if he had pushed me for intercourse, I just might have done it. Was Mark really that considerate, or was that just a game he was playing, a seduction game? Oh, Lord, I couldn’t keep standing here, I had to get dressed! I grabbed my underwear out of the drawer, and pulled my panties on quickly. They were plain white cotton, nothing like the cute bikini panties the other girls had. I started to put on my bra, and thenhesitated: half of the girls on campus go braless, and my breasts are small . . . . I left my bra on the bed, and pulled on the t-shirt I was going to wear today, I had to see what I looked like braless. I pulled on the.
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