But I'd like to explain how I feel about it, and how it has been crucial in maintaining my own commitment to Brother Dexter as my spiritual guide and mentor.The first few times I went to do a libation I was extremely nervous, and even a little embarrassed, but Brother Dexter had a way of calming me. He assured me that I had nothing whatsoever to be embarrassed about in performing a libation. He explained that these moments that he and I spent together in private consultation was precisely what God wanted for me, and for him.On the one hand, someone might see libation as a fancier word for masturbation, and though in an outward, physical sense, this is partly true, there was a much deeper, more emotionally intimate aspect at work; and this is where (I'm sure) many people will have trouble understanding. Some will say that libation practice was nothing more than Brother Dexter's "perversity" and decadence; but I can assure you that this is not at all the case.The reason for making. I, on the other hand, I do not have a current income and sitting here and having to listen to your unprofessional criticism does not resolve my situation.” I stood and collected my things. As I stood the whole cafe seemed to go into suspended animation, waiting for my next move. “See Abby, I am being very mature, as you put it, and leaving. It is high time for me to go before your ‘help’ makes things a whole lot worse.” I moved past her seat but she grabbed my arm. “Ray…” she looked about, a sign of panic on her face as everyone looked on. “Please. You are over reacting. It is no wonder you have not got another position if you have such a negative attitude.” I pulled my arm free of her grasp and walked a few steps toward the payment counter. Ignoring all the eyes that were upon me, I stopped in the middle of the cafe, I could not hold back. Feelings that I had long suppressed regarding unemployment boiled to the surfaced and Abby was going to be the recipient of my rant, whether she.
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