”“So, do you and her ever like, you know…?”Lara sniffed. “Nah. She’s all about the guys.”“Does she know, though?”Lara made a noncommittal gesture as she tried to explain. “She knows, but not… most of it. It’s only come up, you know, when we’re watching the Great Masterpieces on her TV.”I chuckled. “Okay.”“Sometimes they show that kind of thing.”“I’m sure.”“How was your night?” she asked.“I talked to Heather. Went to sleep at who knows what time…”Thankfully I’ll never know… Or wait—“Oh, shit!” I blurted out.“What?”“We get phone bills! Like… in the mail!” I announced, my eyes wide.Lara stopped short and slow-clapped at my astounding discovery. “What’s it like, to have a brain like yours?”“Oh, quit it. It’s going to have, like, a huge long call on it!” I explained.“So what?”“We might’ve been up past four!”Now she did look surprised. “Four! Doing what?”“Three guesses.”“Phone sex.”“Okay, one guess was enough,” I quipped, laughing.“That wasn’t even a guess,” Lara dismissed. “A guess is when. Not the usual décor I see every day!”“Ah yes, I found all of that in the house when I bought it. It was the old Police Station, and they didn’t clear anything out. They seemed to have left in a hurry.”“And the handcuffs and birch on the wall?” I asked.“Yes, those as well. I fell in love with the place as soon as I saw it. It had a sinister feel, the feel of a place where crime and punishment came together. It appeared that most crimes were dealt with by birching the miscreants according to the books I found. And I think that is why there are so many birch trees in the garden.”“Wow! I guess that those days are long ago now. It certainly is an interesting place though.” I wasn’t sure what to say, but I needn’t have worried. I was getting the feeling that this was a conversation that was enacted many times in this guesthouse.“I found that the cellar contained the cell and punishment room. The picture upstairs of the bench and frame, well they are still here in the cellar. Of course, it.
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