I spoke, and the room hushed. I spoke and millions beyond counting ceased their cries and their gnashing of teeth. Daunted by the deadening silence, I wavered, knowing all eyes focused on me. I could feel them like indeterminate points of light. There is nothing I can say to heal this. I am broken now, as are you. With her death, we died as the words died on our lips. There is nothing we could say, if we could say anything to fill the hole in our minds and hearts that Her death digs in us. Even as I speak now, I bring no hope, no kind words to act as a salve on your ears. We are lost, now. Our pens are now alien and foreign creatures forever to sleep on dusty parchment. But while you mourn the corpse of our Creatress, I fear that the situation grows ever worsening for us. Our physical lives are far from over, and I regret that while we may live on, we shall be but husks as love letters, novels, poems, stories, tales: they will all be lost to us. Decades from now, when we think. And of course there were all those unexpected expenses that always seemed to crop up when you can least afford them. After running perfectly for years, my 10-year-old Mazda decided it didn’t want to live anymore and left me with the option of buying a new engine for the old rusting beast or popping for a new car. I compromised with a 3 year old Subaru, but the payments were still killers. Then it seemed that every friend I’d ever had decided to get married and even when you shop at Target, wedding gifts can add up. My boss too had been making cracks about my dressing like a the delivery boy from Little Caesars, and since I knew he was looking for someone to replace our companies trouble shooter for the western region, I took the hint and sprang for some new clothes. They may not have been Armani (or anything even close) but still cost me more than I could afford. My wallet was getting real empty and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that things were only going to get worse..
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