"The cake's home-made, Ken, help yourself." He took a generous slice of cake and put it on a small plate."Thank you very much, Ellen—it certainly looks very nice! And in answer to your question: no, I'm not expected home; my Kate passed two years back." Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that, Ken: I lost my Jack over a year ago."And so the introductions were made and commonalities established, and after a little more small talk by new neighbours —Ken lived in the village—they discussed Ellen's requirements."I shall have to see it in the daylight, of course, and I won't give you a price until it's costed up, but it sounds like a fairly straight-forward job. Once the measurements were taken, I'd make it in my workshop, then assemble it on site. I think the cost of materials might be quite high, though: it's needs to be made out of some substantial seasoned and treated timber. Would you like me to come back another day and have a look?" Yes, I'd like that! Now, Ken, as we're practically. If you had loved Becky, then it might be different. But you didn’t and you don’t. She had to make a decision, and she probably made the right one. You’ll have plenty of time to have babies that you want to make.”She was sounding more and more like Stephanie, who had told me I’d have kids with Jennifer.“That doesn’t make it easier,” I sighed.“No, but stop blaming yourself. She tricked you, then she decided what to do for her own reasons. You won’t get over it until you stop blaming yourself. And quit being selfish and thinking only of yourself!”She was right. I was blaming myself. I had admitted to myself that Becky might have made the same decision if I was home, but she also might have ruined her life by doing what I wanted. And because I didn’t love Becky, I didn’t care how badly her life turned out if she’d had the baby. I had wanted that baby, I would have loved that baby completely, and she took him, and the love I would have had for him, away from me!It hit me that I really was.
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