What am I…“So, what kind of porn gets you off?” His surprisingly casual inquiry broke my panicked train of thought. He was so damn relaxed, so confident and calm. I felt my face flushing with disbelief and frustration. Didn’t he care about his job? Furthermore, did he even give two shits about me or my career? Why was he so comfortable? Maybe it’s just that after-sex confidence, I thought, trying to reassure myself that this was, in fact, his first time having sex on the 14th floor. Don’t get all jealous and moody, I told myself, even if this isn’t his first construction site sex rodeo, you’re still having fun, right?I desperately tried to calm my rapidly fraying nerves. I scanned him from head to toe, analyzing his body language as he brushed the dust and dirt from his once neatly pressed trousers. It was then that I caught sight of an ever-so-faintly twitching bulge in his pants. It hit me like a Mac truck: He was too bashful to say anything, but I could tell he could be ready for. One night, I went to the store to buy sleeping pills, and put them in the soda that was in the refrigerator. I clearly knew that I didn't have to take this. And since I didn't expect it, the plan worked. My whole family fell asleep, completely asleep. I gave the signal to the man with whom I currently live, that he will help me with my luggage and with what I needed to live there. I clearly did not look at my sleeping family, knowing that I would never see them again. It's not that I hate my family, or anything like that, I just want to live alone, and have new experiences. I put everything I needed in the car, clothes, cell phone, food, shorts, bras, everything. I start the car, and delete all my social networks, deactivate my location, remove the chip from the cell phone, and reset it, as if it were a new one. Arriving at the airport, I felt no sadness or anything like that, but I was excited for this new chapter of my life. When I got on the plane, and knowing that I will not.
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