She had just turned twenty-one and I was eighteen. On our wedding night I fucked her three or four times using a condom. She refused to use birth control pills. The pill was relatively new and she claimed no one knew what affect they would have on women down the road after prolong use. I compensated by getting her to agree to using, a vaginal foam called Emko, so I would not have to use condoms. I was so happy fucking her that I did not complain about her insisting on just straight fucking. She did not want a lot of foreplay, no oral by either party, and absolutely no anal. She did not want me to play with her pussy and refused to let me masturbate her. She wanted it in and over. After a while, I tired of the plain vanilla sex and wanted more, but she still refused. I was working in a factory nights and attending college classes in the mornings. My work shift was from 3:30 p.m. till midnight. In the factory, women made up seventy percent of the work force. Most were married and many. Those with a skill or a talent or some degree of knowledge that could be bartered into something better were the winners. The weak or the ignorant looked to those others for their survival, often at the cost of something more precious; their dignity.I was one of the more fortunate and I had learned to take advantage when it was to my benefit. Compassion was not a survival emotion in prison and my compassion had been suppressed for a long time. My work at the clinic was slowly reviving that forgotten emotion and I was trying very hard to remember. But, this is how my mind was functioning now and would dictate my actions toward Nan as this first meeting progressed. I know that sounds cold and distant, but my reality for five years, six months and three days was an eight by twelve foot cell. My return to civilized behavior was not that easily accomplished for someone who lived alone the last year. And during that time, my only contact with society was via a clinic that treated those.
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