His heat is rising as well. He rubs a gentle circle again into my heated cheek. His lips resting in the hollow of my neck. Teeth grazing the heightened flesh. The nailed tips of his fingers scratch, trace lightly. The hypersensitive flesh responding.The air rushes around his arm as he draws back. Farther this time I can tell. His hand lands roughly, nails catching the curve of my cheek. Though I was clenching my muscles as tightly as I could my muscles still reverberate. I feel the tears begin streaming down my face. They are cool rivers against my scalding skin. I am burning from the inside out. He has made me flame, a phoenix. I would wipe them away normally, but I have my instructions. My hands are not to release the edge of the desk beneath my hands. My nails dig into the wood as a cry burst from my lips. A moment to breathe then in a whisper, “4. Thank you, Sir.”His fingers release my hair, massaging my scalp, down the back of my neck to my shoulder and lower. He crosses his arm. I did nudes as well, and I started doing the self portraits in the first person, from my own perspective. My legs, my hands, my cock, all just like they looked to me.’ Natalia asks, ‘Do you still have them?’ ‘I don’t know. They’re probably rolled up somewhere. I haven’t even thought of them for years.’ I take a swig of the Glenfiddich, then continue. ‘There was one time I was doing a self portrait looking down at a mirror mounted at the bottom of the easel. It was the first time I moved away from charcoal and into pastel, and the colors just blew me away. I might have been high, but when I looked at myself, with this distorted perspective and these intense, absurd colors, I…’ I hesitate, a brief wave of shame passing through me at the prospect of sharing this memory so freely. ‘You what?’ Max asks eagerly, not tolerating my embarrassment. ‘I got hard. I got turned on by having created it.’ Max and Natalia share a smile. Max glancing at the portrait on the wall, says, ‘I know what.
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