It was like he was deflating.“Ellen, don’t put this on yourself. I’m not sure how to explain this.” She waited while he paused. “Look, this heart thing, I know it was no big deal, but it’s the beginning of something. I know there’s going to be more problems from here on out. This is just the start. A few weeks ago I was in good health, or thought I was. Now, suddenly I’m an old man; not in years so much, but I’m on the downhill slide. I’m facing the beginning of the end, that’s a fact. This isn’t your cross to bear.”“Bullshit!” She almost spat the word out, glaring up at him. “It’s all bullshit and you know it. People have had worse happen than you did at younger ages and have lived long and happy lives. I’ve been feeling sorry for you? Seems like you’ve been feeling sorry enough for yourself, you don’t need any sympathy from me.”“Hey, you want talk about people feeling sorry for themselves, go look in a mirror. Who are you to talk?”Looking at him, she realized he was right. Even. I still feel that way.My apprehensions eased somewhat after we moved to a house next to Tori and I began to see her in her home environment. She seemed more … normal than the socialite I saw in school.She greeted me one day with a smile and “Hello” over the fence but I was unable to make eye contact for fear she would see my inadequacies, insecurities, and rampant butt lust.Eventually, I was able to converse a little but only because she did most of the talking. I am not suggesting that we became chums because we didn’t. I understood that I was just a fill-in when she had vacancies in her calendar.There were never vacancies in her tight jeans or shorts however and she filled those to eye-popping grandeur. I mean, I might not have been the sharpest kid in school, but I sure as hell could tell if it was heads or tails on that coin in her rear pocket.I must tell you about the time she was laying on her tummy on her bed, popping bubble gum, with an open book on her pillow. She was.
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