The point was to let her know she had lost me. We'd have another, quite different talk as soon as there proved to be an "against."She reluctantly agreed.Myriam phoned almost at once. She was highly agitated. A bit angry, too, I'd say. Or was it panicked? We should have talked first, she said. I was cold and cruel, she yelled. We should have talked. She had a right to explain.I let her rage on for a few minutes. She ended it herself by starting to cry. Through the sobs she said she was sorry not to have phoned me. She was afraid, she said. She had not dared to call."Do you love me, Myriam?" I asked at last.There was a shocked silence. "Oh God, honey, I love you so much," she whispered. "I am so sorry. I have been so selfish, so awful, I..." I don't think you love me, Myr." But I do! I DO!!"Her vehemence caused me to move the phone away from my ear. I succeeded in keeping my calm."Honey, what kind of love is this if it prevents you from telling me the truth? How could my love scare. Wild flowers, coarse and beautiful like the land upon which they thrived.I arranged the bouquet beneath the stone upon which their names were engraved, kneeling on the rocky dirt and brushing away the dust and grime that collected over time. The day had dawned chill and grey; the sun did not shine and the wind tugged at my dress and the redingote I wore over it. My hair blew into my face and I wiped it away with my tears before rising to rejoin my grandfather. He held my hand as we stood there for a long while, sharing our most private thoughts in a silence born of blood."I've decided what I want to do," I told my grandfather once we were in the car and away from that place."And what is it you wish to do, Lise?" he asked with a petulant smile, no doubt expecting something only slightly unorthodox. I'd had a great many plans over the years."An appointment in the army," I said. "I want to be an officer on the General Staff." There are no women on the General Staff," he said.
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