OK?”She was making sense, and if I DID have to go to the hospital, having the person who saw the near-syncopal events with me made sense.I nodded, “OK. It may be twenty minutes.”“It’s OK.”She sat down in a chair in the lobby and I went to the elevator and rode it up the eighth floor and walked to my room. I was feeling OK, but I knew I needed to call Al and talk to him. I probably needed to call Jessica, too. I checked my watch and saw that it was about 2:00am, which meant it was 7:00pm the previous day in Chicago. I took out my AT&T calling card and dialed Al’s cell phone.“Al Barton,” he said.“Hi Al, it’s Steve.”“Steve? Where are you?”“Amsterdam,” I said. “I had two near-syncopal events in just over twelve hours.”“Damn it! Hang on, let me get back into my study. I was just leaving the house.”It was about thirty seconds later when he asked me to tell him what happened, which I did.“So,” he said when I finished explaining, “two events, the second worse than the first, because you were. You went into Iraq (twice!) just for the hell of it, you have boots on the ground in every other country on the planet (including mine), and who knows? By the time I finish typing this, you might have troops in Syria and/or Iran!If you, my male American friends, are perceiving this as an attack or critique, YOU COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG! I like you're unfettered aggression, your barbaric v******e, your presumptive "we own the world" arrogance! All I would humbly ask of you is that you would take a break from invading other countries and invade my Canadian cunt instead!Sweet Jesus, I can picture it now: I'm "innocently" walking in the evening, and one of you brutal Americans bastards comes out of nowhere to drag me unto a dimly-lit patch of grass, or, if you really like making your latest bitch suffer, into a concrete alleyway, leaving me no soft surface to lay on as you subdue me.After slapping my face back and forth to silence my "protests" (HA! I am such a slut!), what will you do.
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