” She paused before continuing, “I had only had sex once before Andy on my senior prom night – cliché I know,” she chuckled. It was the first time she had laughed since I arrived.“I think I liked how you looked at me and treated me, and deep down, that is what I wanted Andy to do all this time. Maybe I wanted to have a few additional experiences of my own,” she shrugged her shoulders, and a guilty expression swept across her face. “I think I had gotten pretty good at making Andy happy and changing things up from time to time. Maybe I thought I could learn something else with another guy. I don’t know. That’s not and wasn’t a good reason to cheat on him.”“Why won’t you tell him about you cheating on him?” I asked.“If you heard Andy on the phone, you’d have sworn he was on his knees admitting what he did wrong and how bad he felt,” Ashleigh explained in a serious tone, looking up at me. “It was like he was begging for his life. Plus, it sort of affirmed my suspicion that he had cheated. Though it’d been over a year since I heard that particular interview, while talking with a hefty 31-year-old blonde at Woody’s, I applied the technique hoping all that time spent in the car listening to these hopeless bozos would yield some results. Her name was Pam. She was an inverted Butterface, so instead of having a hot body and ugly face, Pam had a hot face and ugly body. When I asked my buddy Axe if there was a name for that, his response was: “Fat.” Fair enough. Pam was on her way out as I punched in my plagiarized cell phone name. A half hour later I began texting her: Sex God: “Where’d you go?” Pam: “WTF!!! Who is this!!!” Sex God: “This is the Sex God, duh. Your lame friends just dragged you out of here. We’re gonna need to hang out asap.” Pam: “HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I’m at the Blue Beat!!! Come over!!!!!!” Sex God: “Cool. After I finish my beer.” I turned in an 0-fer at Woody’s, so I strolled over to Blue Beat sometime after 1 a.m., drunk and horny. I found.
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