Rachel followed me to the kitchen. ‘You’re a brilliant pianist,’ I said, still moved by her impromptu performance. ‘Do your family and friends appreciate your talent?’ ‘My wonderful father did when he was alive,’ she responded. ‘I used to give recitals for…friends, from the country club. Now I just play for Denise – that’s my mother – and my teaching colleagues, since we’re no longer members of the club.’ She seemed to be engrossed in thought, speaking as if I were hardly there. ‘And your husband? Does he? I mean, did he…?’ I asked, not knowing how to phrase the question. ‘My ex-husband,’ she corrected, ‘approved of my music well enough. He just didn’t understand me or my family pressures.’ ‘I apologize. I didn’t mean to pry…’. ‘No, it’s okay. Something awful happened that wrenched us apart,’ she said, staring at the brown liquid as it dripped into the pot. There was a pregnant silence, except for the wheezing sound of the appliance brewing our coffee. I watched her face, unsure of. Slow burning. But, my god, how only a few moments with him made me weak in the knees. Have you ever had to pleasure yourself in a public bathroom just to be able to concentrate? I have. Fast and quiet but enough to stall the beast between my legs long enough to sit next to him for another hour. I like to think that after adorably walking together back to our cars, that he felt the same way. I had imagined him sitting behind his steering wheel, pants unzipped, pulling ferociously on his own manhood while thinking about me. Screaming my name in confusion and torment as neither of us knew what this attraction was.We kept up this strenuous relationship for nearly two years on my part. We had ups and downs. Cancelled plans. Friends getting in the way. Spouses continually controlling our lives. But, where there’s a will there’s a way.Finally, we admitted our feelings. After a catastrophic time in my life, all I wanted was him. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was trouble. But I couldn’t and.
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