Elizabeth and Zoë wore pajamas, purple and silver. I could tell that there was envy in my girls, for any change of color, knowing there were other colors. I tried to look around, but it was hard to read. Xiomara hovered an arm’s length away from Zoë, worried about the orange in my sister’s dark hair. Suzi ran a finger down Pat’s arm and looked at it. Renée glared daggers at me.“OK, welcome to our room.” I said with a big breath. “I’m so glad you’re here, Elizabeth. I owe you more than you can imagine for helping my sister.”“Is he going to call her by her full name every time like he does you, X?”“Don’t make it a thing or he’ll start calling you Constance.” Xiomara chomped back at the black girl. She was shedding the last bit of tension. The modicum of emotion, of fear, that kept her from grabbing my sister and hugging the guts out of her.“My name is Connie.” The cheer captain frowned.“I don’t understand. Why is it only you? Where are the other boys? Why are there so many girls?”. But it doesn’t compare to dancing cheek to cheek. I loved walking around during the day hand in hand. I loved leaning against him as we watched the little ducks follow their moms by the pond. A honeymoon is a time when you pretend the rest of the world is irrelevant and all that is important is the two of you and your immediate pleasures. This was a make-pretend honeymoon, but why should that be spoiled by one more level of make pretend? On Sunday we had to pack and the mood was spoiled. My packing was relatively minimal. I would be back here in the fall and I could leave whatever I wanted. Then we faced what to do about Jeff’s stuff. We knew I would be back, but was it 100% certain that he would return? What might happen during the summer that could change that? ‘I think you should take your stuff, Jeff. If I have room to take it home now, I’ll have room to bring it back in the fall. You never know.’ ‘What don’t you know?’ he asked. ‘What could happen.’ ‘What could happen? Are you.
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