Redford. Over the coming weeks, I began to observe more and more that she was annoyed with this situation. At first, I thought she was just pissed at having to measure the same rigid cock each night (although I secretly wished that she would go home to her husband and fuck the hell out of him thinking of my turgid cock). Later it became evident that she was not happy with both my progress and the prescribed course of treatment.One night, Dr. Redford came into my room, and as I prepared for the battery of tests, she hesitate and asked me "Jack, do you think you are getting any closer to cumming? Do you feel you are making any progress at all?". I sheepishly had to admit that I didn't think that anything the clinic was doing for me was helping. She then explained that my testicles had been growing steadily in the past three weeks, and that she was concerned that I may be storing up semen and ejaculate and that this might actually become fatal if they could not find a solution. . Mother died on December 24th. Mother's death wasan abrupt termination of all my expectations to convince her I was reallya girl in male body. My yearning to femininity had no chances anymore. Myfate was to live with my father, a man, an officer. I was expecting himto start his attack on me every minute while the last cordon protectingme against the brutality my mother was gone.Burial was set on December 27th because of Christmas. There was noChristmas this year. The same day as my mother died father and I went toChristmas Eve mass to Lutheran church what was the only thing alluding tous it was Christmas. It was a festive mass and I calmed down a little butthen I heard a "Silent night"... (I always cry when I hear "Silentnight", "Nearer my God to Thee" or "Amazing Grace" as some other peopledo) Tears started to flow and I couldn't stop them. I just tried not toweep aloud. A man wasn't expected to cry and I tried to keep my tears atleast till we came home where I could hide in my room..
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