She is able to not be as strong as she always is. She is able to cry without having to worry. Without having to think. Just to feel. It’s times like this she feels broken. It’s times like this that she feels like her body is dirty. Tarnished. Ruined. It’s times like these that all she can see on her body are his handprints, forever burned into her flesh. It pains me to see her like this. None of it’s true, but I can’t make her see that. I can’t make her heal faster. I can only help, remind her of her worth, remind her I care for her, remind her that it will be ok, and, sometimes, hold her while she does the exact opposite. Hold her while she beats herself up. Hold her while she tells herself she is broken. Hold her while she reverts back to that 14-year-old girl on the bus who froze while her boyfriend molested her. So here we are. She is shaking and bawling uncontrollably and I am holding her as tight as I can so she can feel safe as she does. It’s killing me, but she needs this. . I went to sit in the chair adjoining the small table, but, she said, “uh-uh”, and patted the bed next to her. I rose from the chair, and walked to the bed, sitting down next to her, remarking to myself how comfortable it was. Over the next 15-or-so minutes, I listened to her talk about how her boyfriend didn't seem to be attracted to her anymore, how it had been nearly three months since he had done anything more than kiss her. I had been in that situation before, so I understood. They got into a big argument about it, and she left, to give him a chance to miss her. I leaned over to give her a hug, and, when it was finished, she sat back up with me, and leaned down, laying her head on my chest. I scooted forward, then leaned back, pulling her closer.“Do you think I'm attractive?” She asked, somewhat unexpectedly.“I don't think I should need to answer that, but, since you asked, yes, very much.” I pulled her a little closer, and kissed the top of her forehead. “I'm glad,” she.
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