In the distance, the sun was setting behind the wall of still rising smoke. Their weapons were discarded next to them, leather chest armor undone and on the grass. Heather could hear the anguish in her friend's voice." ... not here. He's not here..." Shh..." Heather put her hand on Sam's back, rubbing. "We'll find him. The path led to this world, so..." The compass is GONE!" Sam's hands became fists. pounding downward. One hit the grass, the other Heather's thigh. She didn't notice. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" With a groan, she got to her feet. "I'm going to look after the horses. This place doesn't even have a stable."Heather stayed where she was, watching the teen walk away. Sam was right. They weren't here. Had never been here. There was no trail. There were no other people on this world, even, if she understood right. They were exiles, with no way forward, no way home.And who's fault was that?Hers. This was all her fault. All of it. She had gotten Cathy involved with. His empty headed-boys, his men. She suddenly realized she had been caught in the moment and forgotten to think of them, and that he loved the ones who had raped her. She began to cry again."Why do you let them do... what they did?" she finally asked."This war is very hard for everyone."She knows he is a Rasputin in more ways than merely his indestructibility. She listens to her husband breathe through the night, the husband who, after he absently comforts or caresses her, always lets his eyes travel to her stomach and then stops touching her, and she remembers those soft hands. She hadn't wanted pleasure, hadn't wanted to love him. She would be his obedient slave, or his whore, nothing more, except that he had this way about him. Night is the worst time for these thoughts as much as for the others, because she has no activities to distract her. She does masturbate sometimes, in the bathroom, or rocking before the heater in the middle of the night, but it doesn't satisfy her. She.
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