...Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the Big Man on Campus, marry a girl just like mom, he'dnever understand.And Tammy's counting on being the girl in that picture, I can tell this inthe way she talks about our future. And yet the more time I spend withher, the more I envy her more than I desire to be with her. She'd neverwant anything more to do with me if I told her.And then there's Dave. We've been friends forever, but if I told. I’ve already explained how I would get horny swimming in my speedos. This day that I’m reminiscing about was just like that. The pool was really quiet so I headed up to the change rooms after swimming two kilometers in about forty minutes. I threw my bag on one of the benches and headed to the big open area shower. There were individual shower cubicles but I would use the open/group showers, making me more turned on at the thought of getting caught.There I was, eighteen years old, smooth, just under six foot, short dark hair, slim, wearing a pair of black speedos that were a size or two too small. My, average sized, cut cock was straining against the black lycra as if it was trying to escape.I was rubbing my arse with my left hand and with my right I pulled the front of my speedo down releasing my engorged eighteen year old cock. My hand started pumping my cock up and down, not too quickly because I wanted to enjoy it and I wasn’t in any rush. I closed my eyes imaging that the entire.
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