" "Maybe you are Pamela, have you thought about that? Even if everything you say is true, why kill yourself? Why not leave him. Spend some time on your own, get some help, try and find yourself, who you are?" "I know who I am, I just don't know who I was. Can you imagine what that's like, Sharon, to know that you were ripped out of your life and put into another against your will?" "No, I can't imagine." "It's horrible to know that you aren't who you once were, that everything you know and feel is a lie. How do I know that he wouldn't change me again? Would I even know? But I can't leave him, Sharon, not even now and not ever. I love him too much, but I can't ever trust him. I can't ever trust anyone again. I can't even trust myself." She held up her left hand, one of the largest diamonds I'd ever seen glinted in the moonlight. "It was a beautiful wedding, the most wonderful day of my life." "I'm sure you were a gorgeous bride." She smiled and slipped the engagement ring and wedding. She held them out to me.“You know what this is, Raymond. You drink one and feed the other to Deirdre. Now!”I tossed off the glass of milk. I held the other to Deirdre’s lips. She had difficulty swallowing but after each mouthful the greyness faded and her colour began to return. As she finished the last sip the midwife entered. The empty glass vanished from my hand. I could feel Brigit’s milk tuning up my body. Deirdre looked almost as bright as she had done at breakfast. The midwife looked at her careful as if unable to believe her eyes. I could understand how she felt. She had left an exhausted woman and returned to find a revived one.Deirdre’s dilation was painfully slow. She was panting as she tried to hold back the overwhelming impulse to push. I could feel pain in my groin. Brigit was transferring some of the agony to me. Brigit motioned for me to move back out of Deirdre’s direct line of sight. I was still holding her hand. She squeezed it hard. I staggered as more of the pain.
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