She stayed and cleaned up a little in the bedroom, and then we ate, not in total silence, but not very happily. Her cheer was wearing thin, against my wall of gloom.I was disgusted with myself. I had given in and done some things that I'd fantasized about, but that wasn't the real problem. The problem was, I enjoyed them. I knew it, and Nancy knew it. I couldn't understand why she didn't hate me yet -- I did -- and wondered what was going to happen next. Nothing good, I was sure. What if she continued to try and bring my stories to life? I shuddered, and dropped my fork, when I had a sudden, hideous image of stepping up to the lectern, in front of a class full of students, in high heels and a miniskirt.She did the dishes when we were done, and came out to the living room, where I was sitting and staring at the window, trying to decide what I was going to do. "Lee," she said, softly, kneeling in front of me and taking my hand. "You need some time alone. So I'm leaving." I started to. . it was just a fantasy.I never counted on my twins, much as King Henry II never counted on those knights that slew Thomas Becket when he uttered the notorious lament, “Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?” Just as he should have known his audience, though, so should I. It was just a fantasy, but for Tracy, it was going to be a nightmare. The twins, after all, didn’t have to work for a living, and the saying was perhaps a bit truer than usual that “idle hands are the Devil’s workshop.” I wasn’t at all aware that my off-the-cuff remark would lead to trouble for her, but ask me if I honestly care, and the answer would have to be “no.” Tracy made her bed with hatred and hypocrisy, and soon she would have to sleep in it.At the moment, however, all I cared about was setting up the dental appointments for my twins, getting my direct deposits moved out of the joint-checking account into my own (I had already opened one by withdrawing the funds that I figured were mine and depositing.
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