Of course the answer was ‘yes’ so I asked him if he wanted me to wear anything special – which he said what ever I felt sexy and comfortable in. His name was James (by the way) – James said he would be about an hour. Great, enough time to get changed; I decided to my very expensive ‘Lejaby’ lingerie set on (lovely black and gold lace) with a pair of contrast seemed FFS (natural with a black seem), a black pencil skirt and a pink short sleeve blouse, finished off a pair of black ‘killer’ heels. I adjusted my makeup and sprayed some ‘JLo’ perfume, checked my hair and poured a glass of wine in anticipation of the door bell ringing.Fifteen minutes later – there it was, the door bell. I went to the door and opened it to find a very attractive man with a bottle of wine and a bunch of flowers (how cute). “James”, I enquired“Yes, hello Imogen”, he replied“Come in”, I said as he passed James gave me his gifts and a kiss on the cheek.James complemented me on my outfit and how I looked. We sat. You are not going to marry or even get married. That won’t ever happen.’ ‘Don’t say that, mother. I want to marry one day, I really want to.’ ‘You won’t, Ragnhild, you know very well that that is an impossibility.’ ‘No way!’ ‘Ragnhild!’ ***Flashback cut out*** Mother was right. I won’t marry, and I will never get married, and for that one reason, I’d rather be a dead man. Or a dead girl if you prefer. That said and thought over, I knew what I had to do with the knife that I was clutching in my hands. Suicide is no easy thing. We all want to live, we all want to live life to our very best, we all want to have those foremost and leading things that we can possibly have in this life, and if we cannot have them and instead we are unhappy and broken-hearted and hapless, what better alternative than to put an end to our being and existence itself? I don’t know why. But in spite of wielding the knife and assuring myself that I was going to thrust it into my stomach, I just could not get the.
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