’ ‘Patrón, you…. You do not understand.’ Just the fact he had addressed me as both jefe and patron meant something was up that was very serious. ‘My son… that is … all of us… except mi pequeña… my little girl Maria are illegal. Maria was born here. The rest of us came to this country when Hector was a little boy. He was three and has no memory of Jalisco… of Mexico.’ ‘Sí su español es horrible’ I replied. Little Hector’s Spanish was not what I would have expected from someone born in Mexico. By the way, I use the term ‘little’ only to denote the son here. ‘Little’ Hector is 6 foot 3 inches tall and towers over his small father and his tiny mother. Hector chuckled. ‘Si. It is bad.’ Hector gave me the details of a life of crushing poverty in the Mexican state of Jalisco where he was raised on a farm, his long trek north and the expense of hiring a coyote to get him across the border and the dessert of New Mexico, of his building a life here in the mountains through hard work and his. I just let it go. I told her how amazing I thought she was, how it broke my heart to see her so down, how much I wanted to help to make her happy. That sad smile returned to her face, but there was also something bright in her eyes: Gratitude, longing?When I finished, there were tears on her cheeks and she was breathing roughly, as if about to sob. Since she hadn’t responded negatively to anything I’d said or done thus far, I seized the moment and kissed her gently on the mouth. She closed her eyes and exhaled softly, which I took as a positive sign, but I wanted to press the moment before she had time for doubt. I lifted my right hand to her neck, thumb along the back of her jaw, and gently pulled her into me. My left hand went to her waist and pulled her there. Her ex, I knew, had not shown her any tenderness for a long time and, more than anything, I wanted her to feel wanted again, treasured… loved. I hoped her desire for these things would outweigh all of the reasons.
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