‘Isn’t that awfully steep?’ asked the man. ‘Yes,’ the lawyer replied, ‘and what was your third question?’ ‘That was pretty good, huh?’ ‘Well, it was pretty good when I first heard it — about three years ago,’ Dan muttered under his breath. ‘Okay,’ I continued, undeterred, ‘You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?’ ‘Shoot the lawyer. Twice,’ Dan answered quickly. ‘Heard that one before too, huh?’ I mumbled. ‘So, Dan, who’d you vote for?’ I queried, trying to steer clear of the lawyer joke miasma. Well, no sooner had I launched my innocent obligatory conversational opening than did our resident angry (relatively) young man go ballistic. His eyes bulged and his face reddened as he snapped his scowling visage to face me. ‘Are you insinuating that there is something humorous about my political views?’ he growled, menacingly. Really. Menacingly. ‘Why, of course not!’ I slowly replied, recalling his views. And I thought I had escaped the accident whole. How arrogant of me. I thought about suicide, but realized I couldn’t do that to myself. No matter how depressed I was, I was too afraid of God. So one day I came across an ad in a magazine about the Army, and I realized what I had to do. This was what was waiting for me. This was my solution to peace. This could make me better again. So here I was, six weeks into my service in Iraq, tied up in some grungy building with a bunch of other people. I seemed to be the only soldier. There were a few business types, and a woman in a pair of dirty blue jeans and a green shirt. They all were terrified out of their minds. I heard some noise and I opened my eyes and looked around. Some men walked in, but I couldn’t see what they looked like. They had their faces covered. One of them looked around and pointed at me. Here we go. Another one walked past him and grabbed me by the left arm and dragged me roughly to my feet. He held me as the first man.
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