I simply don’t know. If she told me the truth and said I really don’t love you and don’t want to talk to you anymore, I would have been hurt, but I would have closure for the situation. One day, I was in a flower shop ordering some flowers to be sent to Jenova from a local florist, and in the corner of the shop I saw this little panda looking at me innocently. I melted! I HAD to buy it! So I did. My plan was to send it to Jenova, but I fell in love with, which was at that time, an ‘it’. I told Jenova about ‘it’ and said that I named her JEN-GIRL after her, and that I cuddled with ‘it’ thinking of her. Well, from then on, the panda became a ‘her’ instead of an ‘it’. I like to think of my panda as Jenova (Zeldah) and I still have her, and cuddle with her and cry, because I miss being with Jenova SO much. I hold my panda cuddle with her, imagining, wishing, it was Zeldah. I originally named my panda ‘Jen Girl’, after Jenova, but ever since the break up, I renamed her to something. I wasn’t planning to return to Georgia’s house today, so why be so careful with the makeup? Today was ‘Safe Deposit Box Day.’ I had a key from the fake fuse box in the basement. I was going to march into a new bank and show my credentials as representative of the estate in order to get access to that box. No one at this bank would simply glance at me as a regular customer and pass me through. Everything had to be perfect.I was still worried about people following me, so I walked from my hotel to the Hilton about half a mile away, and caught the hotel shuttle to the airport. Once there, I walked across to the parking garage where the taxi stand is. In a few minutes, I had a cab that took me directly to the bank.I asked to see a bank officer. You don’t want to talk to just anyone in a bank. There may be ten ‘personal bankers’ waiting to serve you and another ten tellers but you only want to do business with one person who can make decisions without having to go talk to a supervisor. Big.
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