But … you HAVE to know I love you, right? I mean, you are a smart girl. You are fucking brilliant. You KNOW I love you. I’ve never said it, but you know. You know!”“Tom …”“Don’t say it, Anna. Don’t say we’re friends. I can’t take it.”Tears were in her eyes again. I couldn’t look at her. I felt myself welling up. “But we are.”“Why, Anna? Why Clive and all the others but not me? Huh? Why not me? You want someone to love you and treat you right and be there for you? It’s me. It has always been ME.”Anna took another sip of her vodka, running her hand through her hair and pinning it back. I looked at her, briefly. I could not sustain a gaze. I was embarrassed at my emotions. I was afraid I had changed everything.“I know you love me,” she said. “I’m not blind.”“Then why? Huh? Why not me? Why not us?”“I can’t …”“Fuck, Anna. You can. You owe me an explanation.”“Tom …”“You have never been afraid to say what you feel. Don’t start now.”“I guess I was afraid that if I lost you, then I would have. Was he coming home soon? No need to fret about it. I'd go crazy if I didn't have other important things to do. I sat at my computer writing up some of my findings. It was nice to have my own office at home to work when there were no distractions. I made good progress.At about 9:30, my cell phone rang. I answered, "This is Cynthia." I didn't recognize the calling number."Cynthia, this is Sarah. I'm Bradford's nurse. I'm sorry about the strange earlier calls, but we had a problem and I had to be obscure and brief." Is he okay?" He is recovering from a bad concussion and had recent surgery on his thigh muscles. He is recuperating well and is in physical therapy. The brass wouldn't let him call until they had settled a problem. Now, you may ask and I'll tell you anything I know." When is he coming home?" My information says a few days. He's not urgent, so he goes out on a triage as soon as they have space." Will he recover and be able to do his regular schedule?" He'll get gradually.
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