"Er, I'm also buying lingerie for my girlfriend. It's her birthday soon,"replied Simon, wondering how crimson he had gone."It's a bit plain, isn't it?" said James. "She won't be pleased when shesees what you've bought her. And pink knickers!" Uninvited by Simon,James had reached into his basket and pulled out the pack of briefs. "Notonly boring, but a different colour. Women like to have every matching -and things that are really sexy. You're making a mistake with this lot,Simon. You'll end up in the dog house. Let me help you choose something." No," replied Simon, deeply concerned with how the conversation wasgoing. "She wears this sort of stuff to work. I asked he what she wantedfor her birthday and this is exactly what she wanted. I said it's reallydull and I wanted to buy her something more glamorous but she wouldn'thear of it. She said she had to have this plain stuff and that we shouldbe saving all the money we can for ... er ... for when we get married. SoI've no choice but to. Pa had just got up to leave the feed store when I got there. "Let's go meet your ma and have something to eat, Davy," he told me.I fell in step beside him and his hand rested on my shoulder for a moment. Then he squeezed my shoulder and let go. As his hand came away from my shoulder I asked, "Pa, what's a bastard?" Where did you ever hear that word, Davy?" he asked me in a surprised voice."In the movies today I heard Wilmer Edger call Billy Joe Waters a bastard and say he wasn't a white boy. But Billy sure looks white to me." Son, let's let your Ma explain it to you. She has a better way with words than I do." We walked across to the Bid A Wee Café and waited for Ma to meet us.Ma came in, spotted us and came cack to our booth. Pa stood up so she could slip inside the booth. He sat back down beside her and said, "Hon, Davy wants to know what a bastard is and I thought you'd do a better job of explaining than I could.Ma's mouth dropped open as she did a double take, "Where on Earth did.
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