" I wasgushing when she cut me off."Whoa, slow down. Take a deep breath and tell me from thebeginning," she said.Carol did all the talking because I had lost my voiceagain. She explained how it was her idea to see how I'dlook as a girl. It didn't mean anything. It was just aharmless experiment.Mom turned to me and said, "You make a very lovely girl."The smile on her face let me know that everything was okay."Can you believe it, Mom? I actually look like a girl!" Tell me," she said, "how do you feel about wearinglingerie and a dress?" Well, I've only had it on for a short time but I actuallykind of like it. Does that make me some kind of weirdo?" Nonsense," she said. "Being able to enjoy a new experiencemakes you a pretty healthy person." I'm just so stunned!" I said. "I really had no idea Icould look like this! Not to mention all the new sensationsfrom the clothes. I know they're just clothes but they'reso different from anything I've ever worn before."Mom said, "Women's clothing is. My sister, Belinda, is of course, the baby. Lindy, as she's affectionately known, is spoiled because she's the youngest and last child they will ever have. She is a bundle of joy and love no matter how fucked up she is.That brings us to me. I'm Cynthia aka Cindy. And as the middle child, I don't exist. I was constantly forgotten by my parents and the rest of the family as well. My triumphs were ignored or down-played. My mistakes were magnified or used as an example for how superior my sisters were. I was constantly referred to as "The other one."Throughout our lives, Mindy has struggled with a weight problem. Okay, I'm sugar coating it. Mindy is fat. To be brutally honest, my parents caused it. They loved her too much. Every time Mindy opened her cute little mouth, they filled it with cake. By the time we hit our teens, Mindy weighed more than the average adult woman. By the time we were adults, Mindy weighed more than the average adult male athlete who stood a foot taller than she.
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