And I’m not a fucking whore and if you call me one again, I’ll kick your skinny cop ass. Do you fucking hear me, Hawk? Do you fucking hear me?’ With my face an inch from hers, I laughed mirthlessly with an intense pressure building inside me. I knew I was making a mistake, but at that moment, I didn’t care, and couldn’t have stopped myself if I had. ‘Oh, I hear you. What makes you think it has to be about you? Does everything have to be about you? Can’t I have my own pain? Does the world have to be all you, you, you? I can take care of my own damn self without a fucking therapy session every time you think I have to share my goddamn feelings!’ Fresh tears spilled from my eyes, and I shut up to try and hide. Hide the pain they represented. Gretchen wasn’t having any of that, though. ‘Then if it’s not about me, tell me what it is?’ she demanded. ‘I…’ Wiping away hot tears, I spun away from her. ‘Crap, this is so stupid. I was fucking jealous.’ ‘Jealous?’ she asked incredulously. ‘He’s. One is that you got my attention. Second is that I didn’t and am not now turning you away.”Our food came. We ate. I said, “This evening, I would like to spend some more time with you and have us get to know each other. I would like to think we might have something in common. I think I’m going to need someone who will be honest with me. I’ve never been where I’ll be going but I can imagine horror stories about relationships.”She looked at me. “X, that will work for me. Cindy says that I need to get to know you and how you think. I want you to know me, too. Other than that, I don’t ask anything of you nor place any restrictions upon you. You will be doing things that I can’t do because I work or that I won’t do for any of a number of reasons.”We finished eating and I paid. I drove us back. In the parking lot, I received a gentle kiss. I was more ready and participated in it enjoyably. We went back to our desks and work.At four, my boss called everyone together to wish me luck in the.
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