She would look up and see him leaning on the shovel or rake, looking at her and she'd say, “Hey, dreamer. Get to work.” He loved how she came into the kitchen with dirt on her cheek and gulped down glasses of water. At night, while Rosie slept in the hospital bed they had rented, Max slept in the bed they once shared and thought about Robin and how much he loved her and wished he could make love to her. He was torn between his desire for her and wondered how crazy it was that he was still being faithful to Rosie when she didn't know who he was. They were married, but it no longer felt like a marriage. He felt guilty for thinking about her death and how relieved he would be. He wondered if he loved her or the memory of her, and it became more and more painful to see her look at him with a blank look in her eyes. Sometimes he stood by the bed while Robin adjusted it and he felt her energy, her caring for Rosie and it made him love her even more. I wish I had the guts to just go into. But I can't. It's not reliant on me, there's nothing I can do. And maybe if I wasn't stuck in this stupid apartment, maybe if there was someone... something to do I wouldn't be obsessing so much over every little thing. But it's Carly. I sigh angrily, throwing myself in a beanbag. I hated thinking. All it did was twist everything around and make it bad. Better to act on impulse.So what do I want to do, right now? Kiss Carly.I sigh. Not working.I spend most of the day just pacing and trying to distract myself. Hell, I even cleaned a little. And I know Spencer's here, but I can't talk to him about kissing his little s!ster. So we have one hell of an awkward lunch, where Spence asks me questions I'm too distracted to answer properly.And then I start to get angry. Who does she think she is? Pretending like it never happened and then just flitting off to school? Who is she to fuck with my heart like that? She knows I'm in love with her, why would she tease me like that?But I can't stay.
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