Other boys like mecame to accept that we did not measure up, that we did not have what ittakes, that we weren't good enough to be men like our fathers.As well as not measuring up to my father intellectually I also did notmeasure up to him physically. Dad would beat me. He would say he waspunishing me even though I hadn't done anything wrong. I remember thishappening on a few occasions so I would always fear incurring myfather's wrath. I was not only careful about what I said but what Ithought because I could hear my father's voice inside my head and myfather was therefore always with me, omniscient and omnipresent likeGod.When I hear Christians talk about "Father God" it makes me think thatthey must have had a different experience of childhood from me as whoneeds a religion to bring you this? I already have a relationship withGod and don't need to go to church to bring me what I already have.I also remember being bullied at school. I had seen my Dad fight hisfather and I knew. Foster and Chelsea were getting married on Valentines Day. There were getting married in her church here in the city. Mitzi was going to be her maid of honor and Pete was to be Foster's best man. Mom's cadre of friends was all going to be together at this wedding. Chelsea's invitation to me had a personal note in it from Mitzi. Cecil, Come to the wedding. I want you there, Mitzi.I replied I would be, and I would see her in two weeks.I was right out straight doing all that was required of a real estate sales associate. Many of the single homes I showed took up my evening. Dick Johnson hired another associate, older and much more experienced that I was. He was friendly and I learned some of the more subtle tricks of sales from him. He was glad to get into an agency where the action was at a faster pace than the last place he worked.I was often so busy, Melanie and I only had time to exchange greetings. She was working full time and was making enough salary to live a worry free life.
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