This is what my heritage and my mother wants me to be, it is not who I am.”I took her hand and squeezed it gently.”I promise I won’t, but seeing all this, I begin to understand you.”She squeezed back and again gave me a warm smile. “I begin to understand you too; Eric and I know how hard it must be for you to hide your secret from everyone.”What she said hit me like a fist in the stomach. I felt the blood rush to my face.“My secret?”She looked across the yard and then at me. “Eric my mother had you investigated, you are here because she thinks you might become family, because she thinks I love you.”I did not know what to say and she was not done so I listened as she continued.“Don’t get me wrong Eric, I do love you but I love every one of our group equally. I do not have any plans to marry or settle down. I want to stay in the fleet and with my friends.”A Saran guard came and knelt before her. “Most precious Princess of the Realm, there will be a little delay for the departure. The. Glad of any cover, we went in, and my fellow traveller, taking all upon him, call'd for what the house afforded, and we supped together as man and wife; which, considering our figures and ages, could not have passed on any one but such as any thing could pass on. But when bedtime came on, we had neither of us the courage to contradict out first account of ourselves; and what was extremely pleasant, the young lad seem'd as perplex'd as I was, how to evade lying together, which was so natural for the state we had pretenced to. Whilst we were in this quandary, the landlady takes the candle and lights us to our apartment, through a long yard, at the end of which it stood, separate from the body of the house. Thus we suffer'd ourselves to be conducted, without saying a word in opposition to it; and there, in a wretched room, with a bed answerable, we were left to pass the night together, as a thing quite of course. For my part, I was so incredibly innocent as not even then to think much.
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