But four hours ago Denise left me here to attend her retirement luncheon. She wished me good luck and said that she wasn’t coming back. Now I can’t pin anyone down to show me the things I need. Everyone I’ve tried to speak with has patted me on the head and said, ‘Relax, you’ll get along fine.’ I wanted to reach for a tissue, but I didn’t want him to know that I needed one. As if having read my mind, he pulled a Kleenex from the box and handed it to me. ‘Penny, dear, I know that my problems don’t have the same magnitude as yours, but I had a lot of trouble when I was transferred from Fullerton. I have at least as many years with the company as my coworkers, so they all expected me to know what to do. If I asked where a certain room was, or even where to find a mop, they would roll their eyes at each other like I was an idiot.’ ‘Oh my God, do they still treat you that way?’ He laughed and said, ‘They don’t know how to treat me, now. Eventually, I learned my way around enough to. Then suddenly one of my testicles disappeared andthen the other one. I pulled the knickers off immediately convinced Ihad done myself irreparable damage. To my relief as I took the knickersoff my testicles descended out of my groin and reappeared. This was theanswer, I put the knickers back on and with some experimenting I managedto get my testicles to disappear again inside me. I tucked my penisdowninto the knickers and that was it, a flat front.The next day I took the knickers with me and put them on just before therehearsal. In the changing room I quickly put my hipsters on and zippedthem up at the back. They looked great, flat and no bulges. What withthe very tight hipsters and my tight knickers my testicles stayed wherethey were even when we were dancing and moving to the music. One of thegirls who's solo was, "I don't know how to Love Him" came up to me afterthe rehearsal and staring hard at my crutch area said "don't you looklovely" sarcastically. I mumbled something and ran.
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