Q: What’s worse than pleading guilty to murder?A: Getting robbed—hiring an attorney to defend you and then getting jail time.Q: What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?A: You always hear about them, but you never see them.Q: What’s the difference between a dead snake in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?A: There are skid marks in front of the snake.Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?A: Professional courtesy.Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?A: Not enough sand.Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?A: Cut the rope.Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?A1: Take your foot off his head.A2: No? Good!Q1: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?Q2: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?A: The bucket.Q: What is a criminal lawyer?A: Redundant.Q: What’s black and brown. I shoved my hand in my dirty tight jeans and started edging with the rabbit fur lining my down underwear. I almost had an organism as I rearranged my nut sack and tool. Dreaming about the fate of some lynxes; getting lucky enough to grapple with me. Before surrendering their fur coats; for both my desires and survival. I know that fur is an inanimate object. Yet I find myself revering and admiring fur when I first take it away from its owner. I like to believe the spirit of the a****l still inhabits that fur and will come to appreciate its new reality. Now: I know technically I was not in the Arctic Circle but when the temperatures drop well below -25F (-32C) at night and only reach a high of -10F (-24C) during the day. I might as well have been in the Arctic. Perfect conditions for an a****l to grow thick, rich fur. I also have no idea why or what it is about the people in that live in the North Country: but they seem to age far better than people do in the south. I was in my 40’s.
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