Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!A closed mouth gathers no foot.The trouble with life is there's no background music.If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.When blondes have more fun do they know it?What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.Zero to bitch in 10 secondsI don't discriminate, I hate everyone!Life is like a bowl of cherries, and I'm in the pits!Can't sleep, clown will eat me; Can't sleep, clown will eat me......Wine me, Dine me, 69 me!Student Driver-Get the hell out of my way!HONK! If Monica Lewinsky blew you!Constipated people don't give a crap.Practice safe sex, go screw yourself.If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.Who lit the fuse on your tampon?If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.Please tell your pants its not polite to point.If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.Thank. I introduced myself, and she said "Oh yea, you're Paul's cousin. He told me you were gonna be here this week. What do you think of LA so far?"We then started to talk about my visit, and all the places I had been so far. I had done some of the usual tourist things. Disneyland, Universal Studios, Whiskey-A-Go-Go, Santa Monica, Hollywood, and a few other places."Yea, The Whiskey is pretty good, if you can stand all the punks and jerks there. I prefer some of the more quiet clubs myself. That one is just to "hip" for my taste."I took a closer look at her after she said that. "How long have you known Paul?" I asked, wondering how old this girl really was. I found it hard to believe that she had been to The Whiskey if she was 16 as I thought she was.She laughed, and replied "Oh, I have known Paul since he was a Sophomore. We dated for a little bit, but he was just to immature for me at the time, so we both kinda moved on. But we are still friends."Well, I knew Paul was 21, so she must be.
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