'Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quicklyDUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.Hallelujah!The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."Darren wanted desperately to. I exploded and cried out with a guttural sound that I barely recognized. It was so loud, that I didn’t hear the door open when Melissa walked in.“Doug! What the fuck?” Melissa yelled out as I nearly jumped out of my skin.“Holy hell, Melissa!” I shouted. “I thought you said you were gonna call when you were on your way!”“I did call, you didn’t answer!” she protested.“Jesus, Melissa, I’m sorry, I just…” I started to say.Melissa looked at me, frowning, “Are those women’s underwear?”I sighed, “Yes, they are. I like how they feel, okay? Why should women get to have the nice silky material teasing their lady parts, while guys get stuck with cotton tighty-whities?”She stopped for a minute, frowned, and tilted her head. Then she shrugged, “You have a good point.”I could see her struggling with what to say next. “Have you worn them out anywhere?”“No, I just bought these tonight. I tried on a pair of yours and liked them so well that I decided to get my own. I just love the way the fabric.
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