Have A Very Happy Xmas& Stay Away From The Elf BarsDeborah Snowdrop was not feeling well.There are few less attractive sights than a fairy with a hangover and for Deborah, it didn't feel any better from the inside.It was always the same at this time of year. She'd go to some bar planning on having a quiet drink or two with a couple of girl friends. Then a bunch of elves would turn up having rolled out of some office party, bragging about how they'd all finished painting rocking horses or toy trains or whatever for the year and made their bonuses and now they were going to have some FUN.Or the pixies would be out on the pull, out of their heads on mushrooms, looking for some of their sort of music which - as far as Deborah Snowdrop was concerned - was repetitive, electronic and involved too many flashing lights. They'd all be busy experimenting to see if a slice of Fly Agaric with an Archer's chaser really did what it was reputed to. They hadn't worked out that what a girl first looked. .. that was kinda awkward, you know? But the second guy, he was ... much better, you know?”“Ah, well an experienced woman. The best kind, am I right Nora?”“So how many times? A woman counts her lovers, Jim; Ulla knows what I mean.”“Umm, must have been six or seven times with Mitchell, but ... umm...”.“What?” Nora prodded.“I umm, did it with a few girls too.”“Well that’s good news,” Nora said. Then I won’t be all that much of a surprise, will I?”Ulla giggled, and said, “Not likely!” This last was uttered in a liberated and mature way.I knew then that Nora and I would be enjoying our time with Ulla.“But how old are you, really?” Nora asked.“Sixteen,” she replied, adding another year to her age.“Do you have a lot of girlfriends?” I threw this in to keep her from realizing she’d told us a little fib. Young girls are sometimes flustered when caught in a lie. For that matter so are older women, but I’m veering off course here.“A few; but this time of year only two. The others are off with.
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