Yes, but you'd be fathering another baby with another man's wife, instead of either of yours. That didn't bother you?A. (Smiling) Not at all!Q. What was your opinion of Tomas. I mean, did, or even do you now, regard him as somehow 'less of a man' for not fathering Mara's baby?Q. That is difficult question to answer. As an African man, and even as a Muslim man, I found Tomas to be very different from the men I knew and had grown up around; and yet, I liked Tomas as a person.Q. Yes, but how did you view him as compared to men like yourself?A. Again, that is difficult to give answer to. I immediately realized that he was (what's the word?) a 'beta' male; submissive to his wife, rather than it being the other way around; but I'd already noticed this tendency in European men I'd seen and read about on-line.To be honest, found Tomas' beta male attitude---exciting. I liked his deference towards me. It was very gratifying. Yes. That is the word: 'gratifying.' In African, no matter which. I could have just about turned back if Neil had changed his mind, as he nearly did when we discussed his last-minute mixed feelings, but it would have been a close run thing, and thankfully Neil stuck to our plan to meet up with Jason on that fateful November evening in 2016.As we shut the door to our family home behind us, I distinctly remember thinking to myself ‘are we really doing this’. The idea that, after twenty-four years being exclusive with Neil, I was about to head down a path to share my body with another man was incredibly profound. And not just any man. I didn’t like to admit it, but we were planning to share me with a man who I had the physical hots for in a way I’d never experienced with my own sweet husband.Looking back, I am a bit embarrassed about how I acted that first night when we met Jason. Even before went seriously off-plan, I was totally besotted with him and pretty much ignoring my husband Neil, who was also meant to be part of this evening. And when.
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