Would you please explain to my soon-to-be ex-husband that I wasted hundreds of hours of my life baking those pies for him because I thought he liked them?"I just shook my head and threw my hands up in the air. "Eleanor, you know I love you dearly, but I am not getting in the middle of this one. But..." I figuratively scratched my head, wondering if I could safely pull this off.You only live once, right? I gave it my best shot. "But, if you do divorce this lazy good-for-nothing apple-pie-hating old fart, I'll happily ask your hand in marriage so you can bake me as many apple pies as you can manage."She laughed, and coughed; he laughed, and coughed; I grinned like the cat that ate the canary. I decided to take my bow and give them some privacy before I screwed up somehow.I left the room, stuck my hands in my pockets, and took a walk.I flirted with a cute nurse for a bit before heading back to the room. I still hated hospitals.I stopped short of the door, listening to see if they were. "Voila." Sweetie said happily."L-let's hope the next room will be cleaner than this one." Fluttershy said in a hopeful tone, rubbing her hands still wishing for something to clean them with.The doorway led deeper into the haunted house. Fluttershy once again clutched her friend's hand as they made their way through the darkened hallways to an unknown fate. Fluttershy was so concerned with the haunted house being scary that she didn't expect it to be all so lewd up until now. After turning a corner, Sweetie Belle saw a large banner hung up above."Phallic Symbol Phallic Symbol" it read. Beyond the banner read another sign. This one was more prominent with the letters all capitalized."Beware the HALL OF DONG" the sign said. It intimated Fluttershy quite a bit."Umm, maybe w-we could f-find and exit?" Fluttershy fearfully said. This ride was becoming more and more lewd by the moment."I'm not so su-" Sweetie had begun to say. "Wait. Did you hear that?" Sweetie could hear chuckling. Someone.
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