Before he could speak, she went on. ‘You will. Trust me, Felix. Starting now, you’re going to devote yourself to a new faith and the worship of a different kind of deity. I’m talking about sex, Felix. As a priest, you’ve probably trained most, if not all, of your life. Correct?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘So I’m guessing you’re still a virgin.’ He felt his face flush. She smiled. ‘Thought so. And you’re past middle-age, too.’ Her smile morphed into a sad little frown with a hint of a pout to it. ‘I’m sorry to hear that, dear Felix. We’ve got to make up for lost time. And we’ve got to start now. I’ve only got a few hours to begin to undo all the damage your religion has done to you.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘Poor, dear, sweet, innocent Felix. You were born to religious parents, weren’t you?’ ‘Yes.’ He was confused, not knowing where she was going with this. She shook her head sadly, her blue eyes fixed on him. ‘I’m sorry, Felix. I wish that I could have met you sooner. I could have spared you. We're guessing that this has something to do with the serotonin that's found in semen. That's right guys, your balls are a natural factory producing the same chemical people pay an arm and a leg to get.There's another awesome chemical your nuts pump out as well: oxytocin. This is also known as the "love hormone." It's linked to anxiety reduction, orgasms, maternal instincts and social recognition, all things that are known to make women at least crack a bit of a smile.Three researchers tracked 300 women's responses to your endless supply of happiness. They compared women who used condoms or did not have sex to women who had unprotected sex and received the male sacrament of happiness on the regular. Using a standardized depression inventory, the researchers found that women whose vaginas regularly came into contact with semen were far happier than those whose did not.It wasn't just that the women were less depressed when they did the study. They also had less severe depression when.
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