She came back out after about five minutes.“I’m ready now, John. I hope this is okay… I don’t go out much, really, and you never said where we were going to eat,” she said. Her deportment was one of apprehension and embarrassment. She was ashamed of her trailer and her station in life.“You look fine, Maggie. I thought we would go to Barron’s. Their steaks are really hard to beat!” I told her. She smiled and we left for the restaurant.After a nice dinner and conversation, we headed back to her trailer. I was sensing that she was nervous about how the good night would go–whether to invite me in or not and what would happen either way. Maggie knew that I was a businessman and I would come into the cafe in a suit. She was a waitress and not even the head waitress. She didn’t feel she had much to offer.Inevitably the moment of truth came and I walked her up her walkway to her door. She stood there trembling, still not knowing what to do next. But I knew what to do. Knowing this was our. -- a --What is the point? I can't go on like this. He's just saying that he loves me. All he really wants is sex. That's all any man wants. My mother hates me too. She always says cruel things whenever she's visiting. Of course I can't live up to her standards. They're impossible! It's no wonder I got fired, I've been incompetent all my life. I don't know why they hired me in the first place. Judy & Brian think I'm disgusting. I'm so fat it sickens even me when I look in the mirror. The scales may say 165lbs but I know it's all gross fat. I couldn't even stay a virgin till my senior year, let alone till I got married. I am such an immoral slut! I even want to have sex! I don't just wait for when Frank wants it. Sometimes I make it happen. Like that time when he went away for the week to a conference and I asked Mom to look after the kids for 2 days and we just kept on and on doing it. I can't even cook properly. I burn food all the time. If I was a better mother — I wouldn't go to.
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