Paul lost the smile for he was just joking with Joe. He was a little toodrunk and did not even think that Joe would take his joke as an attack.This was for Paul?s brother also crossdressed, so he was used to givinggood heart grief as a joke. The last thing he wanted was to make his newfriend feel uncomfortable. He understood that even with those wordsmeaning no harm, their meaning did.Paul quickly apologized to Joe. ?Sorry Joe, my brother is also acrossdresser and I razz him all the time about it in good jest. I had acouple and went too far. I am so sorry. You are a great guy and we allare enjoying your company.?The other three quickly piped in, talking about how cool Paul?s brother,Dan, was. How much they like him and know that crossdressing was justsomething they do, it did not make them a freak. Larry even joked abouthow Dan looks better than his wife when Dan was all dolled up. Davequickly joked back that anyone looks better than Larry?s wife.Joe started to smile again. He was. I wiped away the tears and found my glass of wine. Ineeded something to get the bitter taste out of my mouthand soothe my stomach. I was sore and bloody.“You were beautiful, Akiko,” Karl said, as he rubbedhis dog’s head affectionately. “I always wondered whatthat would be like. Incredible.”Like Enzo, Karl’s praise washed away my badfeelings. I desperately needed to be held by Karl, tosleep in his arms, to be kissed and reassured that heloved me. Karl did not hug me, though. He did not wantto confuse his dog.Karl would not let me clean myself. He thought the dogwould want to do that. The dog was agitated, pacing theroom, growling and barking.“The dog’s jealous. You’re his bitch now.”To emphasize that point, Enzo came over and veryaggressively licked me clean.“Sleep with your lover tonight,” Karl said when Itried to get ready for bed. He made me sleep on ablanket on the floor with the dog. I laid curled up withthe.
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