One of these days, I knew, something bad was gonna happen again. That old mob mentality would kick in from out of nowhere, and then someone would possibly die. I would have stopped using the convenience store, except that it was a block closer to my house than any other. Yeah some of it had to do with whose gun was bigger. Their 9mmd were bigger than my, 22mag. But the .38 was an even match for them. The other thing I factored in was that they had either never fired their piece in anger, or never fired it at all. I figured that also gave me the advantage, since I had often done both.I at least got my late morning coffee without incident. As usual the older Vietnamese clerk charged me a quarter for a bucks worth of coffee. I had argue with her right after the original incident in her parking lot, but she wouldn’t hear of it. The quarter was our compromise on free coffee for life.When I returned from the walk, I took my shower, then dressed for the day. I took the sheets off my bed,. I would be aware of my attraction but just not think about it.But she could read my mind. Every time a sexual fantasy popped into my mind she would know it too. I could not stand trying not to think about sex, failing, being sexually frustrated -- and the humiliation of having her know I had the hots for her.It was all or nothing for me. We either had to be lovers or nothing. Statutory rape, big time. A little wave of nausea came over me, and Lindsay stirred.The time had come for me to shake her hand, wish her luck, and say I just could not help her.But I couldn't keep thinking about the other side. Would she even consider the sex part? She wasn't getting up to shake my hand and leave either. She wasn't bringing up ways we could make it work on the uncle/niece model.I wondered if she found me attractive. She didn't say anything for a moment, even though she knew I had formulated the question."You're attractive enough," she said.That sounded like damning with faint praise. But then I.
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