My chance came when I was twenty three years old. I had a job, and livedin a small apartment near the city centre. I knew about bdsm and bondage sexfrom the internet, and had looked at many websites, some with personal messagesfrom dommes and from submissives like myself. I took the plunge, and addedmy name to a personal site for mistresses, masters and slaves, giving a falsename, Laura. I said that I was a pain slut, young and good-looking, with aslim body, fairly large breasts, and shoulder-length straight brownish-blondehair. Plenty of answers came in. Some of them I rejected straight away, eitherbecause they sounded dangerous or mad, or because the writers lived far away.But one of them was possible, and I kept looking at it, wondering if I hadthe courage to reply. After two weeks of agonising indecision I took the plunge.The writer, whoever he (or she?) was, told me about a torture club in my citywhere victims could discuss their fantasies and then take part in sessionsheld in. Your Katya, Cathy as they call me here, will be waiting for your love. Come to me, my Miro, I have denied you for too long; I have denied myself for much too long. My own fingers do not give me the wondrous feeling that your hands, your lips, your body will bring to me.Yet I am still truly nervous. Nineteen, alone in a strange country, I was so happy to meet you, one of the few here who speaks my native tongue, the native language for both of us. We kiss, your hands caress my breasts, but I have hesitated beyond that. Perhaps it is because that boy/man had not been invited to love with me, because the physical pleasure I found from him is always blurred by the insult of his unwanted assault. The television crime shows like to talk of sex, of the fact that a woman being raped can actually have an orgasm, and it is true. I shall forever feel the mixture of pleasure and disgust. Miro, my darling, I want you so much, but please be gentle with me.I laugh to myself. You do not even know.
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