I made it to the back door with him and then he watched as I made it down the stairs."How long have you been able to do that?" he asked."There's a thing called motivation. I hadn't really tried, until today."He shook his head and then turned to walk into the back of the storage yard. I followed, wondering where we were going. Never having been here before, I had no idea the depth of the lot. When we were at least seven cars back, he stopped and sat down against the front end of one of the many cars there in storage."Ever play chess?" he asked me."Is it that game with those funny animal figures, castles, and stuff?" I replied with a grin.He didn't look up at me to see my facial expression, when he answered, "You can fool me once ... I imagine you play chess as well as you play poker." Not quite as good, but good enough." How about bridge?" Nope. I think my parents play, on occasion." A lot of our life is like chess, John. We make a move, thinking where we want to go. Then someone else. Shewanted to be there for the man that she loved, but she wasn't sure whathe wanted from her. She knew that the only time they made love thatalcohol was involved, she hoped it was only that, that the alcohol hadremoved Scott's inhibitions and that he really desired her but couldn'tget over her physiology. It was either that or he really was using her.Kirsten watched as he got a far off look in his eyes and seemed to havelost interest in her completely. Kirsten decided that enough was enough. They had an amazing day. Ifall her days were like that for the rest of her life she would be happy.Except that she couldn't live with this barrier between them. She hadbeen scared to tell Scott how she felt, she didn't want to push him awayor lose him. But she couldn't go on like this."What's wrong Scott?" Why, what do you mean?" What do I mean? We have only ever been really intimate once. We havebeen living like this for weeks. I love you and I know you love me incertain ways, just I.
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