I checked no. Was I taking any medications? No. Did I have any allergies? Yes, to multiple choice questionnaires. I wrote that in the margins. I wanted to toss the clipboard across the room at the older woman with hair dyed like a fourteen year old girl and tell her that she should roll some of her painkiller pot up in it and her and I could smoke up and be done with this already. That I didn’t do. But I’d been waiting for a long time and the nurse still hadn’t called my name. So I peered at the next question.How many sexual partners have you had in the past 60 days?Hmm. Should I lie and say one? I didn’t have a problem referring to Brie, who I’d banged twice at that point. It looked like her and I might actually be together. We’d gone out on several excursions that one might even refer to as dates. So I could sound like a regular college Freshman—the kind you see smiling in over-lit pictures on pamphlets advertising safe sex—or I could tell the truth. Which was, I think, five,. The rest of her presents were the usual mix of serious and gag gifts.Her father was working, but the waiter must have told him that she was opening presents, because he appeared a few minutes later. He asked if we were enjoying ourselves, and if we needed anything. Then he pulled a slim box from his breast pocket.“Here you are, sweetheart,” he said to Wren. “One last gift for you to open.”She unwrapped it and gasped. It was a heart-shaped diamond pendant with a pale green stone in the center. I helped her put it on, and the girls oohed and aahed as her father looked on.“Oh my God, it’s beautiful,” Wren said. “Thank you, Dad.”“Happy birthday, sweetheart.”The waiter arrived with champagne and a birthday cake, and we thoroughly embarrassed her by singing “Happy Birthday.”Afterward, her father walked with us to the parking lot and said goodbye as we piled into the limousine for the ride to the club. Wren sat on my lap in the back, with Scarlett on Mitch’s lap next to us. The other.
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