My door was closed and it was silent. I was sweating and I knew I needed to pee. I couldn't find the call button. I didn't want to wet the bed. I went to touch my penis and hold it closed when I discovered a tube leading from the tip. A catheter. I relaxed and let go. It was painful, but it was a relief.The dreams were back again. The shiny boot. What the hell was that about? It didn't connect to anything. I knew who the lady in red was. That was Yolanda, and I wasn't imagining it when she kissed me or when she asked me to call her. Those weren't dreams. Those were memories. Very nice memories. Eventually, I drifted off again, conscious of more chest pain now. Broken ribs, I remembered.The pretty young nurse had been replaced by an older, stouter woman when I awoke the next morning. Breakfast looked pretty unappetizing. I was hungry, but I didn't usually start my morning with Jell-O, something that might have been Cream of Wheat and tea. I complained to the nurse. She gave me a dirty. She spent some time in the evening teaching me how to dance like a girl. Rebecca was such a sexy dancer. She tried to get me to move like her, but I just don't have those hips. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed just being with this girl, having her company, and I genuinely think she felt the same way about me. At one point after the sun had gone down, she managed to coax me out into her backyard. I was really nervous, but being with her made me a little more confident. It was still a huge rush knowing a nosy neighbor could accidentally see me like this. Even if a total stranger were to see me I would be mortified. I was comfortable dressing up as a girl with Rebecca and Catherine, because they know me well as a boy, and they recognize that I'm just doing something taboo for fun. But if an outsider were to see this side of me, if the rest of the world saw me this way.... that would make it real. Somehow I could convince myself it was all pretend when it was done behind closed doors,.
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