But, we had reached our limits. What we had done felt nice. But, it wasn't satisfaction for me. It helped me safely try out and observe a few aspects of being a woman but that was all.Between the physical me and the mental me, I was still divided. There was a division between mind and body which made anything we did only a play game.The next baby step, I could only take with the help of professionals. The first of these steps would be to again go into counseling. This time I needed someone more understanding and sympathetic to my intentions.My problem was that I was that woman in the mirror. However it had happened, I had been born with the wrong gender. She was what I should have been and what I had to be, to become whole and content with myself and my life. Anything less was insufficient.Playing the part, without the intentions of actually becoming what I needed to be, should have been, was only self-abuse. That is why, I perceived the young woman in Janice's mirror, to be mocking. “Yeah, hi, thanks for coming over. I really need your advice. I’m working on this painting and I’m really stuck.” I waved him in and walked in front of him so that he could see my ass, one of my best features. I love my ass, not too big but really round and tight. I like when guys look at my ass. “Can I get you something to drink,” I ask, “juice, water, beer, Jack Daniels,” I added. “Hey, I got some good wine, want some.” “Sure, sounds good,” he answered. Again, I catch him looking at my tits and smiled, letting him know I knew where he was looking. We walked into my little kitchen. I reached up for a glass, knowing he was still looking at my ass. I opened the refrigerator, bending over, feeling my jeans straining at my ass and could almost feel his eyes on me as I took out the bottle of white wine, poured both of us a glass and handed one to him. I held up my glass to his and we clicked glasses. “Cheers!” I said, smiling at him. I took a sip then put my glass down on the counter..
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