We had a wait since quite a few passengers had all purchased junk and every bag needed to be put through the scanner and a police dog was sitting at the end to sniff out and illegal substances being brought on board. I suggested we go to the pool area for a cocktail and discuss the plans for the evening. We decided on what to do and timing and we each went to our own cabin. The ships cut off time to be back on board was 6pm which generally means by the time the boat is untied and under way is about 6:30. There are always a last few late arrivals running up the gangway at 6:15 shouting for the boat to wait just for them. When I arrived in my cabin I saw the message light blinking on the phone. Laurie said she wouldn’t be joining us for dinner, that she had other plans. That made things much easier than trying to squeeze a fifth person on to our table. I left a message at Ronnie’s room that Laurie was out and Millie was in and that we could not meet at my room for our traditional pre. Well, feminine.His legs were smooth, as if he had shaved them. There were bumps on hischest -- where did they come from? There was a wig on his head. His eyeswere made up. There was polish on his fingernails. His butt stuck outlike a girl who was, well, trying to make her butt stick out."So, Matty, are you next?" Jerome asked me with a knowing smile.."What do you mean?" I stammered."Are you the next sissy to be displayed?" Of course I'm not. That's silly." Is it?" Jerome asked. " You'd look good in a dress, I bet. Just likeyour fairy friend."Jerome smiled even more broadly. He patted me on the butt and walkedaway. Fine. Walk away. Damn it, this isn't my life. Yes, I'm a smallerguy. Big deal. We all aren't NFL players! So my hair is a little long.Kelly likes it like this. It doesn't mean that I was going to changelike, well, like Patrick had changed.And yet, maybe.True, I'd always sensed an ambivalence in me. An unspoken desire to becontrolled, to please. I guess it had always been.
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